Demi Lovato Opens Up About Her Relapse
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Demi Lovato Opens Up About Her Relapse


(SINGING) When I’m
beating up on myself, but I’m an expert at giving
love to somebody else– I– me, myself and I
don’t see eye to eye. Me, myself and I. Oh, why do
I compare myself to everyone, and I always got my finger
on the self-destruct? I wonder when I
love me is enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wonder when I
love me is enough. [APPLAUSE] [LAUGHS] I Love Me. What a great message. Thank you. That’s a great message. Thank you. So this comes out Friday, right? Friday, yes. Very exciting. This song is fun
and light-hearted, and it’s got a positive,
upbeat message. There are songs
on the album that are ugly, honest and heavy,
and will make you cry, and will take you there. But I’m so excited. Because I’m sure
there was a moment– jumping ahead and
then I’ll jump back– that you didn’t know if
you would sing again. I think you would probably– Mm-hmm. So you were you were
sober for six years, which is a very difficult thing to
do, to stay sober for six years. And you would think you have it. You got it made in six years,
and you’re completely good. And you’re not going to relapse. But anyone who has ever tried
to be sober for anything knows relapse is part of it. Mm-hmm. It takes a certain amount of
time sometimes to click in. So what was it that day
when you’re six years sober, what happens that you just
decide to throw it all away? Well I mean, I think
it all started– you know, I have to
preface it with the fact that I got sober at 19. So I got sober at an age
I wasn’t even legally allowed to drink. And I got the help that
I needed at the time, and I took on the approach of
a one-size-fits-all solution, which is sobriety,
just sobriety. And so my whole team
took that approach. And we did it, and we
and we ran with it, and it worked for a long time. But I realized that
over time as the things with the eating disorder
were getting bad, I mean, over the years it progressively
got worse and worse with people checking what my orders
at Starbucks where on my bank statements. Just little things
like that, it led me to being really, really unhappy. And my bulimia got really bad. And I asked for help, and
I didn’t receive the help that I needed. And so I was stuck in
this unhappy position. And here I am sober and
I’m thinking to myself, I’m six years sober
but I’m miserable. I’m even more miserable than
I was when I was drinking. Why am I sober? And I sent a message
out and I reached out to the people that
were on my team. And they responded with like,
you’re being very selfish. This would ruin things for not
just you but for us, as well. And when I heard that–
my core issues are abandonment from my
birth father as a child. He was an addict, alcoholic,
we had to leave him. And I have vivid
memories of him leaving. So when they left, they
totally played on that fear and I felt completely abandoned. So I drank. And that night I went
to a party and I– there was other stuff there. And it was only three
months before I ended up in the hospital with an OD. And ultimately, I made
the decisions that got me to where I am today. You know, it was my actions
that put me in the position that I’m in. And I think it’s important
that I sit here on this stage and tell you at home or
you in the audience or you right here that if you
do go through this, you yourself can get through it. You can get to the other side. And it may be bumpy, but
you are a 10 out of 10. Don’t forget it. And as long as you take
the responsibility, you can move past it and
learn to love yourself the way that you
deserve to be loved. [APPLAUSE] And thank you, Ellen, for
giving me the platform. You giving me this
platform means so much. And I wouldn’t have
wanted to do it with anyone else on the
planet other than you. Thank you. I love you. I love you. And it was perfect,
what you said. Thank you. Thank you. We’ll be back.

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