Ellen Loves Her Peloton
Articles,  Blog

Ellen Loves Her Peloton


I appreciate it. I thank you so much. I feel the same way about you. Have a seat if you’d like to. I don’t care. You can stand. I’m going to sit
down in a minute. I would like to
sit down right now. I am so sore. I was on my Peloton
this morning. Do you know– you know
what a Peloton is? Whoo! It’s a bicycle slash
torture device. I use it every night
because it’s a great place to hang your clothes. And– no, I do. I love the Peloton bike. I really do. I’m on it every single morning. That’s why I have this
caboose that just won’t quit. I love it. It is the best invention
since the Cadillac Margarita. And here’s how it works. There’s a screen on it. Does anyone have a Peloton bike? Whoo! Yeah, all right. It’s a cool thing. There’s a screen on it
so you can take classes led by real instructors. There are options for live
classes, pre-recorded classes. You can take classes through– you can go through scenic
routes, like Italy and Spain. You know how exercise
usually, when you do something and you get used to it,
it gets easier and easier the more you do it? Not this. No, it gets harder and harder. That’s what she said. No. Literally. No. That’s what the instructor said. Literally, she said, “It
gets harder and harder.” My favorite instructor right now
is a woman named Emma Lovewell. And it sounds like a
fake stripper name. But that’s her real name. She told me she’s working
her way through college and she’s a single mother. And I think she really likes me. My second-favorite
instructor is Dirk Diggler. Seriously, Emma is– I don’t know if you
know Emma Lovewell. But she is unbelievable. She is in such great shape. And her abs are incredible. And you know, you’re
working so hard in the class and you’re watching
her and you’re like, my abs look just like that. And you’re pedaling. And then you get off the bike
and you look in the mirror and you’re like, my abs don’t
look anything like that. You think your abs should look
the same because you’re doing the same thing that she is. But apparently, Emma’s doing it
a lot better and faster, harder and faster. And that’s what she said, too. There are different instructors
for different personality types. They motivate you
in different ways. My producer, Mary, has an
instructor that she likes, Robin. And– because Robin
calls everyone queen, and Mary likes to
be called queen. And then Ed, my producer,
who is in the booth– you rarely see him– he has a Peloton. And he likes to
compete, because there’s a leaderboard on the side. And you can see where you
are with all the others. And he’s consistently in at 803. And yet he pedals and pedals. The whole reason
I’m bringing this up is because I think the
more that I talk about it, then the more I have to
keep doing it, you know? That’s why I talk about
tequila the way I do.

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