I was his punching bag for four years and he tried circumcising me with his teeth- Carole | Tuko TV
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I was his punching bag for four years and he tried circumcising me with his teeth- Carole | Tuko TV


for me I never used to feel anything for
him I was so done he was like a total stranger but you see I had to be there
because of the kids Just that, I was there because of the
society, like what would the society say I was there because I needed to be someone’s wife but the moment he hit my head my eyes were open and I decided to leave It’s like a switch was on your head the switch was right here by the way he still found me at home when he came back in the evening with his KSh 200 still at the table He came back and was like oh yeah
so you still haven’t left? so you don’t have a place to go to because now he knows I’m an orphan the only person who was supposed to defend me is not there he’s no longer there yeah my
pillar was gone right? during Easter while I was going to church because you can’t find a husband while just seated at home when he approached me I felt like I should give it a shot this was like a golden chance for me, so I thought to myself it’s time to hit the road he was working he would come home briefly then fly out back to work when he came back from Sierra Leon, we then moved in we left everything we had bought to mum and moved into our new home the mother started insulting me saying that I was uncircumcised and so the son will have to marry another wife she said I will not give birth to a son in that family if you cannot give birth to a son then you are not woman enough everything was okay he was the kind of a person who would say he’s spotted my dad taking tea somewhere yet my father died a long time ago he would just leave the house abruptly and upon inquiry he would lie he is going to buy airtime just at the shop nothing he would come back at 3 am but you can’t ask him where he has been even for my customers who would come buy milk and say they have spotted him somewhere, I would tell them his movements don’t bother me as long as he will still come home he started receiving a lot of pressure from his family and because he wanted to instill fear in me he became violent he used to say that I will turn out a prostitute like my mother you understand I didn’t know what to say whenever he insulted me, so I would go quiet I was shocked at all and say I provoked him he felt that he was totally in control of my body then he would say I was his wife so he doesn’t care My body was full of patches just from the way he grabbed me during those moments, I was in pain but he never used to care every other night we went to the bedroom the children cried my son bit him he gave him a slap that sent him rolling to the wardrobe the children used to scream on Sunday he would leave as usual for work whenever he would call to say that he was coming home they would ask when he will be leaving for work again all the drama begun around 2005 just after I had given birth to our 2nd child we had known each other well From the way I was brought up, I learnt to speak up whenever something was bothering me but he was such a difficult person, he wouldn’t take in another persons suggestion he would even say that the mother told him that I was out to intimidate him that I was beaten there’s a time we were fighting that I was selling so when women used to come for milk they would say she is right there listening to them but at that time I couldn’t come outside she was the one giving those women the milk then they would continue with the conversation on how they called each other when they heard the screams so she was would change her colours depending on the environment? he would just inform me that he was heading home the time I was serving food upon coming back he, his mind has totally been poisoned then he will start insulting me while referring to my sister and my mother I would try to stop him right there telling him to stop attacking my family he would raise his voice at me saying that I was mannerless because I never underwent through circumcision then he bit me thrice on my thigh he wanted to bite off my private parts was he serious? yes that’s the time I bit off his finger that he beat me up again and she said that we were no longer going to hide it from my dad so she called my dad my dad reminded him that he has never paid dowry yet I was cooking and doing everything for him, including giving him children yet he was beating me the father asked which woman bites off his husbands finger I did bite him he also bit me and he beat me to the extend I was swollen all over my father said that I should go home with him and leave the children I was brought up with different step mothers, I did not want my children to go through the same I will come home and leave the children with him I could not leave my children dad passed on we buried him and it was time to go back to my house because everything was okay at that time but I came to learn that during the period I was at home for my fathers funeral some other woman who was a close friend was living in my house I confronted her but she denied and said that my husband wanted to hook her up with his colleague and so they had to meet in my house When I asked him about it, he started insulting me so I let the matter rest nevertheless we continued fighting each day one day he put KSh 200 on top of the table and asked me to leave his house minus the children I was fed up and wanted to leave already but on a 2nd thought I decided to stay when he came back his KSh 200 that he gave me for transport was still on the table he smiled sarcastically and asked why I had not left knowing very well I had nowhere to go to he started mistreating me even more because now he knew I had no one to turn to insults He said I was now useless no man would want to marry me and I told him it’s fine he said even if I happen to get a new home I would still receive a beating I decided to stay then plan an exit that would hit him hard to know my worth on the house there’s a time he hit my head with a walking stick and I collapsed he got a vehicle and rushed me to the hospital, we had to go with the children because I did not have a house help he reported that I fell down I was discharged on Friday and told them that there’s a woman who will die here some day because of how she is being battered but they found the house locked because I was taken to the hospital when he heard rumours that the police were looking for him he became scared my sister told me that I was no longer going back to that house I told her I wasn’t planning to go back either because even in my hospital bed I was worried where my children would be supposing I died they’re so attached to me I’m attached
to them it’s the only people I have a you understand I went to my uncles place and after a few days my sister came and told me that we were going to the police station when I reached the police station, they informed me that they had visited my place and that they were waiting for me to record a statement I was given a P3 form and when I went back to the mission hospital I realized that they had recorded on my discharge summary sheet that I fell down I told the doctor that I was battered and I had swellings all over he wrote me another sheet then I went to a government hospital where they filled the P3 form for me I received a call to go record a statement which I did then I went home they said I got their son arrested the mother was so annoyed and said everyone gets battered at some point and life continues none of his family members wanted to see me at the back of my mind I was a little bit worried that should he stay in the cells he might lose his job On Sunday I rushed to the police station and withdrew the charges on condition the he gives me my children and my clothes and he agreed he stared begging me in front of the OCS saying that I was his wife and that he would not let me go he agreed to my conditions though when we got to the house he had hidden my stuffs my son was with him but my daughter was living with his mother I went back to report him and he got arrested again he went to work, took a short leave and then kept following me around to my uncles place he would waylay me in whichever place, take me to the bushes and beat me thoroughly before escorting me home sometimes he would visit and pretend that he wanted to meet his son my uncle would call me outside to meet him immediately my uncle leaves us, he pulls my hand and begins his insults saying that I was never going to escape from him and even threaten to beat me there things ran out of hand, he refused to let me go and he would do all manner of crazy things whenever he met me I was plaiting her hair I heard her speaking in Kamba on her phone and we started having a conversation with her I told her my mom was from Makueni and she told me she came from Makueni too she took my number she promised to call me back she told me she had gotten my uncles contacts, that was the brother to my mother I called my uncle and he told me my mother was in Nairobi I narrated my story and I told her I couldn’t go back to my step mother She asked me to take my children and collect their birth certificates then travel to Nairobi She sent me fare and I left at 2 am with my children She picked me at the stage and after meeting her I destroyed my sim card and bought a new one in a womans life I was so done just that but the moment he hit my head and my eyes were open, that’s when I crossed that boundary it’s like there was a switch right in the head yes, the switch was right here and I said to myself I will not die here I crossed the boundary and said I was ready to begin a new chapter I came to Nairobi, got my first job as a hairdresser whereby my salary was KSh 9,000 I rented a house in the slums with my children, we used to help ourselves in the bucket In the evening he would pounce on his sister and beat her up thanks to my mom she enrolled me to a Councillor where I went I never went back there again I said I will counsel myself okay I will forgive him I can’t change that fact but I can never go back to him he would even threaten people with a knife at that tender age that he was affected by what he used to see I used to beat him up until someone told me to stop it and instead counsel the boy I spoke to both my children and told them that if anyone wants to fight I will take them back to their father because that’s where people are fighting he said he doesn’t want to go back to his dad and promised not to fight again I discipline them equally so you begun that humble life we stayed in the slums for one year then I left she begun teaching me all the things to do with beauty, I created clientele and my first commission was enough to enable me move out of the slums to a better house because I had told myself that I was ready to begin from anywhere where my baby daddy would never find me I moved into a bedsitter then one bedroom yes
not just anyone you meet and have no idea about their character so this is how I used to look like? Well, let me move on people asked how I overcame because some said they were going through the same someone sent me a message and said they wanted to kill their children no one should lie to you that your issues can be solved by the elders because at the end of the day it’s the two of you who will remain in that house just never allow yourself to be punched like a nobody and end up traumatizing your children, just walk out no one is justified to batter their wife although I know men too go through the same but they don’t come out easily someone even asked me if I had bleached my skin no I did not, it’s just that I overcame whatever I was going through so the troubles went away and life became smooth again if a man is violent, don’t stay there and wait for death I stopped plaiting hair, I upgraded what do you do now? you are all welcome just leave peacefully

100 Comments

  • Lady Madam

    I need caro number to discuss about business am a beautician as well we can do something but i dont live in kenya but am a kenyan doing advance beauty with technology

  • koi cess

    woooow carole we thank GOD for you and your kids,,,,after all that man did ooooh My ,,,,women lets keep learning from this stories nothing is impossible,,,,, if the marriage becomes toxic,violence, just walk away you can still do on your OWN,,,,dont stay because of kids actually you harm your kids more,,,walk out….

  • Amie Jobe

    I’m gold she’s fine and well now, no now deserves a violence relationship. We most learn to protect ourselves.
    Bless her and her children 🙏🏿❤️

  • Bostonliving 254born

    See how beautiful you get when u leave a toxic relationship,relationship zingine zinaezeeshanga mtu…..advice to all the women reading this,the first time a man hits you toroka,it’s never rainbows and sunshine after that,idc how much you think he loves you or how good of a provider he is!chomoka siste,some women don’t live to tell their stories!

  • Caroline Njoroge

    He is a malignant narcissist. He found a very good candidate in you, looking at how you were raised and also been young and naive, you suffered from codependency and also trauma bonding. He's family is also dysfunctional and pretty much narcissistic and that's where he got it from. You're so great now. My dad is also a malignant narcissist and my mom never ran away, I am his scapegoat. He abused me for 2 decades. My brain struc changed, am here at 30 learning the science behind my predicarments. My mom never defended me, I hope I heel as have come to realize being raised by a narcissist makes you a good target for narcissist in adult life, that coupled with chronic illnesses as well as mental illnesses is one sad painful life. Thank you for taking your children out of pain and thank you for sharing your story. On this comment section there are a few narcissists looking for supply from comments, leave them alone these humans thrive on the energy of innocent beings.

  • P S

    Na kumbuka akifj hua mlago at 6 jioni roho inapiga. Mother inlaw aliniharkbia Pia mimi. Imagine Mother inlaw akipika food ya bwana ati napata bwana food ina mafuta ananona na kinakula pekee

  • P S

    Singeenda Job kununua nguo alikuwa ana order online na zikija Mother inlaw anauliza ni ngapi nakutuchungulia kwa dorisha tukitoka kwa hause tukienda place tunakosana

  • alfred nyamongo

    Once a woman gets hit, that will not be the end of it. A marriage or relationship that has violence as a way of solving issues or causing pain is not a marriage to stay in Whatever the circumstances. My advise is leave! Love should not hurt. Culture this culture that has left very many women in abusive marriages . Lets stop this and protect our women. One thing i remember before i got married and will cherish most are the wise words my uncle left with me- We have inherited a daughter who is beautiful with no scars or marks keep her that way and ensure she is protected and cared for. I have kept this promise and will ensure this continues. Carole took the best step out of a horrible marriage and not many can do what she did. Its time women take that step and ensure that men don't take them for punching bags. Our women deserve better treatment. Angalia Carole sasa. Beautiful bila stress.

  • EKK

    As a father on gal i always tell her "do not ever show a man your vulnerability" some men will take advantage of it. Most abuser start by disrespect(cheating)to taste the waters then it moves to verbal abuse then physical. If you still stay death is next.

  • Esta Kamoga

    Uhmmm🤔🤔😭😭dats how most people loose their lives coz they fear what the society will say about them🙄my ex taught me how to move on and live my life so I nolonger make people happy but I just do my heart's delight

  • Wangui Bundi

    When things seem not to work don't punish yourself move on and make a humble beginning elsewhere with your children. God has bigger plans for each an every one. Pray and live your life God will take you far. Be blessed with your children.

  • Ngecha Mahinga

    Thank God not much you said negative about your husband, remember he is Father to your children actually what most important is to forgive each other for the sake of your children, even if no reconcile don't market him in the media , the influence came from the parent is not because he hate you, meet with children eat and drink together God will bless you both

  • Annabella Boyer

    You are much better oof,than what you were then?Thank God,that you were strong to battle it out with him?live your life to enjoy it your way.

  • Redi Batafulai

    Yes what i hated and i will never ever do…ni ile kuita wazazi wa mwanaume na wangu tukae tunasuluhisha vitu. Kama imekataa imekataa

  • 0710275865

    We also need to hear the man's story, this same problem is also experienced by me. Too bad marriages today don't seem to work.

  • Patrick Mufumba

    She is a strong woman and beutiful,never a man or woman just coz you are desperate,I’m paying a huge price due to such marriage

  • Sylvia Kwayesa

    May God continue to bless you and your children, no one dies for being single, but many dies for being married.

  • Queency J TV

    Rule no 1.Dont allow a man raise his hands on you.
    If he does it once move out because that would be a beginning of most hellish escapade in your life.He will do it twice and thrice and forever .# Am ambassador of no beating in marriage

  • Wlkm Wlkm

    Me to I pass into that problem and on that time I was 27yrs old but because of suffering and stress if u look me u can think that I have 70yrs old but we separated when I have 28yrs old but for know since I separate I look very nice like baby face with my two kids I have my own job my life is very sweet in Jesus name

  • Truezimlady E

    Thanks for telling your story so eloquently. Your natural beauty shines through. If anyone knows someone going through pain and violence speak up and help especially if there are children involved.

  • John Ndirangu

    Marriage is a complicated institution but if you marry a soulmate, it is very interesting. It's good to start a friendship before dating. Though my case is…'when you know, you know'

  • Adengo Andersson

    Shame to those men who beat women and believe that they are supposed to stay, Men please get a punching bag instead or better still walk away instead of traumatising someones Daughter¨

  • Pam Kieni

    Leave alone beating…to be shouted at is a big deal to me…my parents taught us that…just say it politely n I with hear. U don't have to shout… Moreso beat??? !!

  • jumanji T-rex

    why why do men beat up women…men tunakuwanga na unjinga sana. On behalf of all men, ladies poleni sana tuna wapenda sana. Lakini kuchapa mwanamke ngai baba aca nimekata

  • Cathie Kahura

    I read her story yesterday and its sad when people tend to take advantage of people they claim to love. Im glad she moved out and is now happy with her new partner

  • Winnie Murage

    😂, I'm just from a relationship with someone I felt we weren't connecting, 2and1/2 years have been requesting we break up and move on before we tie ourselves in marriage without love, he's been refusing till I made a decision to move on. Matusi nimekua nikipata 😂, butim glad I got out of it

  • aggie aggie

    Being an orphan si mchezo once in such a violent marriage but one day I said I killed no one at our home , nilirudi kwa aunt though wasn't easy but was better of

  • FLOVAN LTD

    tuko wengi we have passed through alot but happy to be single mum though my hands still aces now 2 yrs and am still strong. God bless you lyn ngugi, we watch and get encouraged too….

  • Jackie Muigai

    Carol, forgiveness iss a journey, but in the end time heals all wounds. And forgiveness doesn't mean you ran back into his arms.
    The Lord will heal you totally. He's faithful.

  • Blackbear Grace

    😹😹😹I don’t mean to laugh but some cultures are funny how do girls get circumcised?? In our culture only guys get circumcised ad as girls we can’t date uncircumcised guys

  • prisclla Wamathai Merry Christmas to you Jeremy

    I feel you Carlo. ..strength of a woman. ..every woman going through this. .kiura ruga

  • Mibey Chepkemoi

    1998 ,already done with the high school, fantastic @''''',
    she looks young. whoops by then i wasn't even
    know how to put on my chupi, and am already finished.
    Baby girl ,God loves you. Some of us we are younger
    than your first bone ,na tumachapa tayari.

  • Lons Dota

    I really don't understand the practical between marriage and single, huwezi amino ati yeye ako hapo amembemba mtoi na leso😭😭😭

  • Veronicah Kelvins

    I remember wangu pia aliniwekea 1k kwa meza ati niede but sikueda hio siku vile alirudi akaniuliza sasa wewe unaweza eda wapi
    Lakini siku moja nikasema enough is enough
    Since 2006 hadi leo tuko poa na waschana wangu wawili I thank God

  • Stecy kerry

    Wooow this so inspiring.. Ladies ladies you don't need a man to survive move from that violent r/ship you don't need to vumilia

  • anne osiyo

    These type of men are becoming common in this society both locally and abroad.Listen to Narc Survivor documentaries in You tube.

  • Jackline Rabong'o

    Haki marriage is not everything. Ladies should walk out the very first time they get hit. Am happy she's found her happy ending

  • Samson Murenga

    I do not condone violence against any woman or men at all at any given time,ata sisi wanaume we just suffer the same but in silence we’ve been turned in to punching bags and nannies in our own matrimonial houses or homes especially saa zile mwanamke ndiyo anatengeneza doh mob,mimi pia bibi unipiga mpaka nakimbia kwa matha ama kwa mabeste since that’s the only option left nili end police station ku andika repoti kwanza nika wekwa ndani ati mimi si mwana ume so I was like ok ni hivi ndio kunaendenga.one day siku osha vyombo kwa sababu mtoi alikuwa ana lia sana.wewe nilikipata so violence is on both sides wether women or men ni vile tu wanaume sisi unyamaza but tuna pigwanga pia tena vibaya sana.mpaka unashindwa kama ulioa jamaa ama bibi.bibi yangu weight yake ni like 250 juu yeye Ushinda jikoni akipika saa zenye Yuko Home.but I’m 160 pounds.mimi ukula last.

  • R N

    Never put up with any kind of abuse,whether financial,physical or emotional but more especially emotional abuse bcz its scars are not seen but trust me it can destroy you.Please u have done well to talk about it, the more you speak about it the more you heal well done gal .But men …..

  • Salome Njenga

    This is one of reasons ladies are okay being single mothers,why. Because no one wants to b physically abused, on one wants to live the way their mothers did.

  • yvonne goodgridge

    FIND OUT WHERE YOU CAN GET DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELP FROM IN ANOTHER STATE AND RUN .GET OUT RUN WAIT UNTIL HE IS AT WORK THROW AWAY YOUR PHONE. DONT TELL ANY FRIENDS OR FAMILY THAT WOULD SYMPATHIZE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND OR HUSBAND. DONT TELL ANY PERSON WHERE YOU AND YOUR KIDS ARE .

  • Salome Njenga

    Can you see the cycle, her father was abusive and he forgot he had Caro. The daughter is abused don't know who run too, stick in the abusive marriage which is a wrong decision..a son is born seen the abusive.

  • Mama Watoro TALKS

    Most soldiers kill for a living and will never be okay in the head, once a man's blood is on your hands you done

  • Faith Faith

    Husband desperate. Am 49yrs old a lady by nature and a mother of a 31yrs baby girl. Professional with any business which can make money no choice, with life style am ok romantic and financial stable. My taste is any man who can make me smile, but with one condition no violence coz if you dare shout or raise your hard on me then count your self a walking dead body, please if interested give your contact by commenting here thank you. Warning am a beast. Accept me at your own risk😳🤣🤣🤣

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