Netflix’s New Dating Show ‘Love Is Blind’ Is Wild | DESUS & MERO | Season 2
Articles,  Blog

Netflix’s New Dating Show ‘Love Is Blind’ Is Wild | DESUS & MERO | Season 2


[MUSIC PLAYING] Was that the extended remix? What the fuck? This month, Netflix launched
a new dating show that’s even wilder than “90 Day Fiancé.” I have met the person I want
to spend the rest of my life with. I have never seen her before. NARRATOR: Here you will
choose someone to marry. Hello. Nice to hear from you. So on this show, you
have to marry someone, but you never get a
chance to meet them. So it just should have been
called “Green Card Office,” but hey. Oh. Some of y’all don’t like that
joke, but somewhere my uncle is laughing his ass off. Oh, I love you Betsy. [THEME MUSIC] So what are some of
your biggest turnoffs? So what are you
looking for in a woman? I can’t see my
life without you. Will you be my wife? I am engaged to somebody
I have never seen before. I hope he just finds
me very attractive. Watch her fiancé to walk
into the room like Rebecca? Oh, that’s you? Oh. – Oh, wow, woo.
– Shit. Oh. Told me you were from
Manhattan not dub city. Oh. Imagine standing there
at the alter like– If anyone has a reason why– Yo, me, can I? Can I do that on my own thing?
– No más, no más. I’m throwing in the towel, dog. I want you to be
1,000% open with me. There’s my student debt. Ha! That part! That part! This marriage could tear
me and my family apart. Let me just marry someone
I’ve never met before. I’m not even ever checking
with my family again. Because they’re going to
roast the shit out of me. Hey, Mom, I got
married by Nick Lachey. Remember him from 98 Degrees? Hello Desus and hello
random woman he met. Now shockingly, some
of the engaged couples end up having problems. Yo, now that we’re not in
Turks and Caicos anymore, shit is different. Do you know how
you tell me this is the best sex of your life? Have you noticed that I
don’t return the compliment? Wow, wow. Damn. Damn. She’s trying to
roast him, but he’s about to hit her with the wild
reverse, I still beat though. You can’t un-eat my ass. [LAUGHTER] Wow. I said that one time. And also, you did say, you
said, “wow, that was amazing. That was great.” Every time I go, “That
was really good.” That enthusiasm. Yeah. I think that was really good
after a good like “SVU.” Like, not after sex, dawg. Like, yo, Olivia, you did that. I’ve never
initiated it with you. You’ve always
initiated it with me. That’s the problem. Thank you so much. Why? Why don’t you initiate it? Why don’t you seduce me? She’s like, that nigga
don’t be initiating. Why don’t you seduce me? I don’t know, bitch,
because we met on Netflix. I don’t know. What the fuck? I don’t even know
your last name. Why you stressing me? Goddamn. Goddamn. Shit. To you, it’s sex. To me, it’s not. No, to me, it’s not just sex. If it was just sex, then I
would have sex with everyone. I’m just on the other
side of the apartment like [KNOCK KNOCK] “y’all
wanna keep it down?” “Yo. Yo, y’all gonna fuck or what?” Yo. “Yo, I’d rather hear y’all– [INTERPOSING VOICES] What the fuck? Go back to that weak
dick you was giving her. Come on, man. Fucking playing with me, yo. That shit was wild hypnotic. Oh yes. Y’all– no,
y’all are not good. Y’all are not good. Mentally, nobody is good. Nobody– none of y’all. No, you’re giving
the dog merlot. You’re not good. The dog is like, “Excuse
you, excuse you, it’s Malbec.” Oh, pardon, pardon. Pardon, pardon. Fam, is she
drinking the same– yeah, of course she was. What’s she supposed to do,
get two separate glasses? [LAUGHTER] At that moment, he was like,
“Oh, god, I went down on her.” Oh. Think about it. Yeah. She’ll let her dog
drink from the wine. Yeah, the dog is
getting a little, you know what I’m saying? It’s getting a little–
he’s getting a little saucy. A little peanut butter
down there action. You know what I’m saying?
No? No? So I’m disgusting but she let
a dog drink out the wine glass. [LAUGHTER] [WHISTLE] [WHISTLE] I earned this. Wear it with pride.

100 Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *