Friendship is probably one of the things we desire the most in our lives. We all want to be liked. We all want to be valued and understood by our peers, though we don’t always recognize or know it. It’s why social media exists, why people do what they do, and heck, part of why this channel exists! This was a hard video to make (lots of deep thinking, and procrastination – mostly the latter) For a good part of my childhood, I was a pretty shy kid. I never knew how to really talk with people or even approach them, let alone talk about common interests or learn how to become an excellent friend. I’ll be honest – how many elementary schoolers go through a 3-month Andy Kaufman phase? I was a WEIRD kid. Heck, sometimes I still don’t know what I’m doing, even with a lot more experience and closer friends. Ultimately this video isn’t about my journey – it’s about yours. This vid is just a summary of my experience on how you can strive to become a true friend to someone. I’m human, and I make judgments about how I “perform” socially – and this is NOT a 100% guaranteed formula. However, I can tell you what I did to go from shy to…less shy! (self-deprecating humor, yay) Imagine yourself during lunchtime. You’re in a completely new environment and can sit with anyone you want. You could spend time with the people who work or consume self-improvement stuff and “transform”. (You could also sit alone, get zen) Or you could sit with a group of familiar buddies from another place. Without further description, you would probably pick the buddies. Friendship isn’t about the acquaintances you sit with and maybe talk with once in a while. It’s about connecting with others who share your fire, ambitions, interests, experiences, etc. In a completely new environment, it’s frightening to go in without friends to guide you, and it’s easy to go back to what you know. Now, none of the other options are really worse, and if you need to, you could choose all of them! Suggestion: sit with a guy who eats alone, and strike up a conversation with him using this video’s tips! Even if your old group is awesome – sometimes, you might need a change of pace! Many of our friendships form by chance and not guided intent – get out of your social comfort zone! There’s nothing wrong with having friends who don’t share your EXACT vision. You can form a great friendship even if both of you have entirely different perspectives! (to back me up, look at any buddy-comedy, ever.) They could be a relatively new friend on Instagram or a lifelong pal. If you have friends that you share goals with, there’s no better way to power those goals and gain the energy! As a baseline, friendships are just about a need to connect. It’s what makes humans, human. From an evolutionary, scientifically-proven point of view, people love talking about themselves. Not entirely a narcissist’s sport! Since the dawn of time, humans needed to connect to survive in tribes and develop civilization. We’ve kept that need for connection – we need someone (even if it’s only ourselves) to bond with! The 21st Century is the age of the MIND. A quick way to develop a good relationship with someone is to find what gets them pumped, excited. For example, I have a bud who’s really into metal. (at least, heavier than the metal listen to) [cues disco ball] With that knowledge, I did a bit of…research. I asked him about his favorite bands without probing him for information or forcing the conversation. Immediately, his persona came alive! If I didn’t listen to my friend about his passion or notice his metal shirts, I wouldn’t be able to really engage in a conversation about his “fire” (passion) as it would be shallow of me and would turn him away. Even THIS quick point relies on an even deeper layer: Now, if I didn’t even CARE about the friendship, I wouldn’t have even noticed or thought about conversing. I wouldn’t see his perspective or try to say “Hi, [name]! How’s it going?” if I didn’t care. Real friendships are about unconditionally caring for each other, no matter what. These are my subjective beliefs to true friendship. Everything that a true friend stands for is “CALC” – Compatibility – Authentically Asking – Listening – Caring. Being a real friend takes a LOT of courage and practice – it’s a struggle everyone has! There are days where we are distant, out-of-line, or just plain rude – we’re human, it happens! What matters is our overall intentions and CALC. This video is dedicated to all my friends – past, present, and future – for all the love and support! Thanks for watching! – Feel free to follow me on FB, Twitter, Insta, or TikTok, and comment below! (I’m working on more individual content for each platform – specifically, Instagram and even TikTok!) Have an awesome day, keep being the AWESOME YOU!!!