100 Comments

  • Vazul

    After being single for years now:

    12 Physical Touch

    8 Quality Time

    5 Acts of Service

    4 Words of Affirmation

    1 Receiving Gifts
    BTW, I love when you sing the answers 😀
    And I absolutely agree the priorities change in different relationships and phases of relationship, but I highly doubt the first one changes unless the first and second are close to begin with and the other person can only speak the second and not the first. I don't think that's possible in a long term romantic relationship anyway.

  • Lucy Cowell

    I’m obsessed with love languages!! It’s always a question I ask in early stages of new relationships as a compatibility measure 🤷🏻‍♀️x

  • Test 1049

    Not gonna lie, being a dude, these vids kinda make me feel like a creep. Not going to stop though because this info is pretty fuckin useful.

  • Matan Moshe Boaz

    Does porn fuck the brain?
    I would be very grateful if u could make a video about how to watch porn safely and correctly. Love your vids from 🇮🇱

  • Gail B

    I read the book years ago. I speak all of the love languages but quality time definitely is the one that makes the biggest impact on me

  • AL POTATO

    Who else is watching all the #whoami in bed videos wile doing the quiz. It's like I'm doing the quiz with a friend

  • Cara S

    Mine used to be Words of Affirmation but I now score lowest on that one, and highest on Quality Time! Maybe partly because my previous relationship wasn't as secure as the one I'm in now, and I constantly sought validation and reassurance in the form of words? But also maybe just getting older has changed me? Who knows! Love this quiz haha

  • TheOneAndOnlyTorford

    My top gifts to receive are quality time and acts of service but my top to give is gifts! I’ve been told I’m really good at gifts!
    Also the “I love you” “ Why?” conversation sounds exactly like my husband and I 😂

  • Admir Barucija

    My love language I feel somewhat changes based on the circumstances, but I can’t wait to watch when I get home!! I hope you’re having a great day Hannah ❤️

  • Charlotte L

    My love language changed from when I was single to in a relationship. My love language when I was single was Physical Touch. Now that I'm happily settled, my love language is both Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service.

  • ugenewis

    I don't know how Hannah found this but I love it. I was answering questions as Hannah asked them for example Big Hugger😍

  • Brittamos

    Omg this is so interesting! Me and my partner DEFINITELY have different love languages!! I absolutely love physical affection and my partner is the opposite so would be interesting finding out both of our love languages! Great video Hannah! Xx

  • Lioba Martin

    My ranking is the same as yours! I made my partner take the test and his first is quality time and then physical touch, but after we had a chat about words of affirmation and he said he'd misunderstood (were both not first language Englisch speakers) and that it probably ranks higher (than second). I need him to redo it so I can evaluate properly 🙂

  • Tea And Kitties

    My love language ABSOLUTELY changed when I started dating my person. Though I found that instead of changing to what I'm not getting, I changed to what he gives me because I recognized that it means "I love you" coming from him. I used to be words of Affirmation but now I'm gifts because he's the type to buy random things and always offer to pay. Boy bought me a frozen 2 themed eyeshadow palette recently 😂 I was so touched

  • LittleMissGrumpy

    I got 12 on Quality Time, so I guess that's my primary language😅 and then as a secondary language Words of Affirmation, which seems pretty accurate to me. These were the ones I thought of beforehand.

  • lyra

    My biggest issue with the love language test is that it pertains mostly to how you want to be shown love, as opposed to how you yourself show love? I think the “language” that you speak can often be quite different from the language that them resonates with you.

    What I’m trying to say is that I find it weird that when you answer the quiz, it doesn’t give you the language that you speak but rather the language you want to be spoken to with. It’s about receiving love rather than giving love.

    And I also think of things like my aversion to touch because we have questions about which is more “meaningful” and I think it’s more meaningful when I am able to be comfortable with showing that physical affection, but it’s also not my main way of showing my love? So it means a lot for me to be able to do that, but does it matter if it’s not my main way of expression anyway?

  • Myles White

    You're so amazing awesome video!!! Sadly, I don't really have a love language because I never been truly in love. I had dates but it never went further. 😭💕💛💛💛💛💛🙏

  • ugenewis

    I like to give words of affirmation and hugs/hand holding. Not really good at hearing I love you but better at saying it. What is considered non-sexual touches? I would say hand holding, hugging, or kiss on the cheek. I could be wrong.

  • Beatriz Velayos

    Mine is quality time and acts of service, I used to think that it was because my partners does NOT speak them, specially acts of service, buth actually I recently realised that my mom and dad are always available to do things for me, take me places, go to the shop if I'm working… So maybe it's something I learnt growing up, and now that I don't have it I appreciate it more. I agree that when you don't have something, you crave it more, so totally possible that a person's love language might change.

  • Samantha Retzlaff

    My husband and I first took the test when we got engaged, and we took it again very recently. And both of ours changed. But not because we're deprived of a certain language. He's very stable in his job and needs Words of Affirmation less, whereas I've been dealing with depression so I need it more. We'll definitely be taking the test every few years so we can stay up to date on each other's languages.

  • Em mi

    I used to think, I'm acts of service kind of girl, but in my current relationship I have learned, how touchy person I really am. In my earlier relationship, I was lacking in non-sexual touches and I think I somewhat lost my grave for touch to cope. Now I'm with touchy person and I'm flourishing. I have truly found my love for touch and I now know that it is my primary love language. Acts of service is my secondary love language.

  • Alicia G

    Im in the same boat! I was usually physical touch/words of affirmation. Now that I am getting plenty of those two, boy, do I want some acts of service! (i still dont give a shit about getting gifts, which im happy about)

  • cesso91

    So what if… You’ve turned into an acts of service person because you live with a partner who… is a man? Sorry but isn’t that a rule?

  • Stephanie Mecredy

    I got acts of service ages ago when my partner and I first moved in together. I just took it again. . . it's the same, but it's all evened out. I think that's probably just because we've learnt to communicate better.

  • writerjesus

    When my partner and I first got together, we took the quiz so we knew how to best communicate. We’re long distance so it’s super important to both of us that we make the other feel loved. Her physical touch was much higher ranked than mine but I kept that in mind. When we see each other, I prioritize hugs and affectionate touch. She knows that I’m big on words of affirmation and quality time. We’ve been together for almost 2 years and I think, now, my love language is probably physical touch because I have so much positive feelings around it. Like it makes me happy and my partner happy, so it’s Double the positive reinforcement!

  • Dalton Fitzgerald

    It sounds like you’re fighting your impulses a bit during this, which sort of belies the point. “Acts of service have become more meaningful because it means I don’t have to nag my partner to do things” sounds… like maybe there’s a different conversation to be had. 🤷‍♂️

  • Mary Kaltreider

    I'm not sure if mine changed, or if I realized that I actually needed something else. In my previous relationship, I would've said Words of Affirmation. In hindsight, I was starving with that person because I really needed Quality Time and Acts of Service. I have those in my marriage. 🙂

  • Beth B Crafts

    Just wanted to thank you for being so candid. I had a lot of the same reactions as you (he doesn’t do things and I nag him to do them, hugs or notes?) and it really helped me feel more confident in my feelings.

  • Melias Clarkson

    10 – Words of Affirmation

    9 – Quality Time

    6 – Physical Touch

    3 – Acts of Service

    2 – Receiving Gifts

    Definitely seems about right to me, "acts of service" & "receiving gifts" feel very transactional to me and that's a BIG "No" from me, quality time is about equal to words of affirmation in my head so that makes sense, on top of both of those I often feel like physical touch is an added bonus which makes sense with it trailing not far behind the first two.

    Acts of service I could rarely see myself appreciating, primarily when I'm really overwhelmed but I would not like it as a surprise because that disturbs the plans I've got in my head, but if I'm overwhelmed and they offer to do something difficult for me then I could appreciate that.

    Receiving gifts though is a no.

  • Kathryn Heap

    Never done this before but this does make sense to me.
    Top is: quality time
    Low : receiving gifts.
    Which makes sense I hate when people buy me stuff or just buy me gifts that I don't know what they are going to be (gives me anxiety to act a certain way towards it)
    But spending time with people I love is my favourite thing to do. Quality time just being together is the most important thing for me

  • Tia Gibson

    love languages can 100% change! Im in a long distance relationship and my love language is quality time because it means so much to get his undivided attention via skype/message when were not together and when we are together i appreciate his company. However when we live together during holiday periods its less important because quality time is almost guaranteed? Would be intrigued to take the test to see what i get when we are together

  • Erin Kennedy

    Before taking this quiz I thought it would be physical touch, acts of service, quality time, Words of affirmation, and gifts. It is now quality time, acts of service, physical touch, gifts , then words of affirmation.

  • nognog3333

    I think the reason (that makes sense to me at least) why people tend to crave the love language their partner isn't fluent in is not only because it isn't common but also because if it happens anyway it clearly means your partner put in extra effort.
    For example, compliments from my boyfriend are extra meaningful not only because they match my love language in general, but because I know he has a hard time with compliments, so the only reason he does this is to make me feel happy and loved not because it's something he does easily, which makes it that much more meaningful

  • Helen Victoria Murray

    I find the Love Language system and tests incredibly frustrating. I've taken this test and had the numbers come out nearly balanced. I feel like they are all necessary components of a good relationship. People ask my dominant love language and I honestly can't give an answer. Anyone else think all the languages are important and if any are missing that's a problem?

  • Daisy May

    My languages are still Physical Touch and Quality Time, but my understanding of what Quality Time actually entails/requires has definitely shifted within my relationship. I used to think Quality Time required like, big dates and gestures and stuff, but what I actually value is just being near that person now, especially since our relationship is long distance <3

  • Akorn Oaks

    My partner and I are polyamorous, so communicating how we want our relationship to work, and how we want to be shown love, is a foundation of our partnership. When I took the quiz, I got 8 on acts of service, and 7 on quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. And no one was surprised. 😉 I personally bake words and touch into quality time – I think those things are all intrinsically linked for me and would be hard to separate. We are working really hard to make quality time a priority – we both work full time, we have two kids, and he currently has another partner while I do not (I guess I'm looking but small towns make that hard.) We scheduled a family night and weekend dates with or without kids, but I didn't bring up the idea that acts of service need to be a part of how he shows love for me. It's been a long struggle – just yesterday he forgot to do the dishes (which he promised to do) and forgot about the cup of coffee I had made him (which made me feel forgettable when I found it on the counter when I got back from work.) We've been together 8 years, but it's always a process! We never stop learning about ourselves or each other.

  • Leanne Reilly

    I loved this. That does make sense that it has changed now that you’re in a relationship. Now I want to do this test myself 😄

  • Francesca Hart

    I know for sure that I feel loved just hanging out in the same room with my husband. We might not have talked in 6 hours (I talk too much for it to last that long) but just sitting together is so nice. Quality Time is a big deal for me. I I defainly want to give him little gifts.

  • AthynVixen

    Took the test. Pretty much evenly across the board which i suspected. I'm not a lot or a little of anything. more of an even mix/spread kinda gal

  • Tormuse

    I actually read the book some years ago, and it was eye-opening in terms of making sense of my first relationship, back in the day. She valued acts of service, while I value quality time. The fact that we didn't understand this at the time created a situation where both of us felt like we were trying in the relationship, but felt that the other was not trying, because she was constantly doing things around the house, whereas my attitude was kind of "I don't really care who does it, as long as it gets done… and at the same time, I was trying to make time for her, but all she wanted to do was watch TV. (Which wasn't very stimulating for me) Looking back, if I'd had that understanding, I wouldn't have minded doing things around the house to make her feel more loved. Actually, it could have been fun to come up with things to do, like make lunch for her to take to work or whatever.

  • Elisabeth Wehmuth von Bayreuth

    16:56 I don't think the difference between 6 and 7 is all that meaningful. I consider acts of service, quality time, and words of affirmation all to be on the same level 🙂

  • Do Better with Christian

    I think it’s definitely possible for your love language to shift based on different variables. Getting older, your partner, loss of friends, death of a loved one. I think as I’ve gotten more busy and experienced more anxiety, mine has changed from quality time to acts of service. I tell my husband regularly that I would rather he help me with the dishes or laundry than buy me anything, but I know he values gifts. So I buy him little things periodically, and he takes out the trash or folds towels. It definitely takes a lot of communication and commitment to loving in a way that is unfamiliar to you, but it’s definitely worth it.

  • Lydia Sinnett-Smith

    Damn… my love language is quality time, probably explains why my last relationship couldn't survive going long distance…

  • Victoria Rogers

    I got:
    12 Quality Time

    8 Acts of Service

    5 Receiving Gifts

    4 Words of Affirmation

    1 Physical Touch

    I used to be very Words of affirmation and Gifts but I started working full time and am fulfilled more in those areas by work

  • Marina Plaisant

    I LOVE THIS CONTENT. yes, my love language absolutely changed being in a relationship, it's CRAZY. i really agree with this theory that what the other person kind of "lacks" in communicating is what you then crave the most? i don't know it's WEIRD

  • Louis

    I've read the book and if you can get past the misogynist passive writing, it's pretty good. Your assumptions are true, the love language that you like to receive can be different from the one you speak

    For example, my love language is quality time but I know I usually gift something to people when I want to show how much I appreciate them

  • Tristan Bailey

    I guess there is some inner balance that is hard to describe and that energy is different in everyone. Then you adapt to the relationships you are in and if you feel loved enough over time you appreciate more the things that you get less off as they move to being the icing on the cake. Starved of one that unbalanced you or more of it making you feel appreciated

    Also some forms are hard when with someone 24/7 that are easy when only sometimes a week.

  • M Collier

    Comparing my single responses with my couple responses reveals similar contrasts:

    Single
    10 Quality Time
    8 Acts of Service
    6 Words of Affirmation
    4 Physical Touch
    2 Receiving Gifts

    Couple
    10 Quality Time
    9 Physical Touch
    6 Acts of Service
    5 Words of Affirmation
    0 Receiving Gifts

    I guess physical touch is only really important to me in a relationship, but I really miss it when I'm single. I'd also have thought I'd be Words of Affirmation more than Acts of Service! I definitely give Quality Time, Words of Affirmation and Acts of Service, in that order.

  • Leopard-King

    My love language is permission. The more a person shows me they are ordering the thing that I am, the quicker my bandages come off.

  • Amy Mitchell

    I think I can relate to you with acts of service! It's definitely higher for me as I don't feel like I get as much as it compared to words of affirmation (my highest love language). I also feel with changing priorities, the languages change too. I need to retake the test but me and my partner have moved into a LDR for a few months so I feel like physical touch has moved up!

  • Lava Yuki

    Mine was physical touch as the highest, followed my quality time. Physical touch is definitely no.1 for romantic partners compared to the others. I hardly scored anything on acts of service and receiving gifts as I'm so used to handling stuff myself and tend to buy things I want for myself. But for family, I only do gifts, and none of the others. My ex was definitely gift giving, he always gave me random presents, and also flowers every week.

  • Nejat Sari

    I think it’s also possible that after you had your surgery and had more difficulty doing things that having things done for you became more important.

  • Lucy Harrison

    I just dug up my results from before I got together with my boyfriend and his results when I made him do the quiz and I'm quite surprised that we have practically the same love languages: quality time first, then physical touch and acts of service (for me these have the same points for him physical touch is a little bit more important), and lastly words of affirmation and receiving gifts. There isn't much difference in the points either. We never gave the love languages much thought but maybe it's because the realtionship is going so well and we have almost identical love languages. Maybe I'll need to take the quiz again to see if anything has changed (though I'd be surprised if something did change).

  • Lermaline

    When my dad sees that my mom is feeling a bit « meh », he starts to vaccum or clean, or anything like that, when my mom would like to spend time with him… I can’t begin to tell you the number of arguments this has led to 😅 Of course this behavior also has to do with house chores that he does less of, and feels guilty about not doing it 🤷🏻‍♀️

  • Auburn Cottage

    I think it's easy to answer these questions and think "what am I missing from my current relationship" e.g. acts of service came up high because you feel you don't receive this as much. (I think it's good you acknowledged something's he does do though, I think it's easy to think partners could do more and forget what they are already doing for you right now). I think when answering the gift or saying I love you question we should think, just because someone says they love you everyday and this somehow dilutes the feeling it gives you each time its said, does not mean it's less important for you. If one day you spent a whole day without the words I love you uttered and the same the next day, and the day after that, the question is how would you feel? Would it torment you or would you not even realise it had not been said for that long?

  • Spiffleh

    I think this needs a bit of tweaking. I've always struggled with physical touch because I adore it /in private/ but am uncomfortable with it in public. So high after a long absence… Yessssss. Arm around me in public. Hate it. So uncomfortable. So I have a hard time addressing that in this questionnaire.

    The other thing is that I think it changes both with different individuals and with different stages of your life. Same partner in university and when I moved out… After moving out acts of service shot up huge because it was the thing that most would have shown he was listening to my needs. Before moving out we never got enough quality time so it was a big deal. When I saw him more often k cared less about it.

    I think it's better to think of your love languages as fluid and changeable depending on a variety of things.

  • Daniel McKnight

    I think you are correct Hannah in that we can have different languages for a romantic partner than for friends/family. For example – I like hugs, hands on shoulder/back/arm/etc from a romantic partner but not from friends and family. I’m curious if Quality Time is still high for me or if it was just high for me with my last partner because that was lacking in our relationship.

  • Ashley Kress

    My love language has definitely changed over the past year. It was highly Acts of Service and Quality Time. Since then, we've gotten married and are expecting a baby. My husband has gone above and beyond in the Acts of Service category to help me through the rough days of pregnancy. But, taking the quiz again today, Quality Time and Physical Touch were my top two…which seem much more in tune with my sensitive, pregnant body haha and needing to feel connected with him.

  • Sick of Reading

    I think Acts of Service has become one of mine as I've become more busy and stressed! It used to be words or affirmation too, but like you my boyfriend can day he loves me till the cows come home but telling me why or being specific does not come easy to him. He's good at the acts of service though, he's running me a bath right now.

  • Angry Eco

    My love languages are quality time and physical touch, which makes it hard when all my closest relationships have become long distance after college 😞

  • Georgie Oates

    I’ve always been high on both quality time and acts of service, but I found that before my partner and I were living together, especially when we were both studying, quality time was definitely the most important to me. However, now that we’ve been living together for over a year, acts of service has become more important to the both of us (particularly the act of vacuuming). So yes, definitely a change as our relationship has developed!

  • Amy 12345

    I’m single and funnily enough like how you’re love language reflects what you lack (sorry, you have a great relationship, it’s not lacking, I just couldn’t think of another word) with Dan. Mine reflects what I don’t get either, in a platonic relationship, I live with my dad and he’s so goood at acts of service, but getting a hug, or I’m proud of you? I’ll barely ever hear it 😂 I didn’t even realise until I looked at the thing and went, oh 🤦🏻‍♀️

  • ECFREE02

    My top is Acts of Service. I wonder if this is something to do with me being disabled, I desire a partner who is willing to practically help me without me having to ask. I guess it makes me feel like less of a burden! Hmm interesting!! Big fan of these kinda quizzes, keep them coming! Xx

  • Genba_96

    I took the test out of curiosity and was 100% sure my highest score would be in gift receiving. Turns out it scored lowest, LOL. Quality time was the highest ranking, and looking at it now; it makes sense. Physical touch and acts of service were 2 and 3 with just one point difference between the two. This was really interesting, made me think about myself and understand myself a bit more.

  • Penny Mills

    This is unrelated but this video made me go and watch the one about all your boardgames and it made me think that you would love the Overboard series by Polygon!! They play boardgames and are also really funny people

  • Horses by Hulachowdown

    I got acts of service. Makes sense, as a single woman who owns a farm, all I could ever want in a man right now is someone who will willing come and help me with the work I have (even if they don’t know what they are doing). 🙂🙃 Mind you I wouldn’t ever say no to a back rub, cuddle or flowers/chocolate.

  • locketgirl8500

    I think the language I use to express love is different to the way I feel loved (I don't know if that is contradictory or not) like the way I express my love to others is through acts of service and gifts, and the way I feel loved by others through words of affirmation and physical touch. That might just be because I'm not good with initiating physical touch, so when others initiate it with me it feels meaningful.

  • lilithfairxo

    Not in a relationship right now. Been a few years, by choice. That doesn't mean I'm not being sexual with other women, just not looking for a committed relationship.

  • Anushri K

    no yeah someone on twitter said your love language is just what you didn't receive enough of as a child and i soooooooo feel that. so like pre-romantic relationships, my main love languages were physical touch>>acts of service>> quality time>>words of affirmation>>receiving gifts

  • Tilde Öhman

    As I thougt my love languge is acts of service followed by physical touch. As someone who is ill and because of that struggle a lot in day to day life and highly value any help I can get😅 And hugs are very nice too

  • Bexyboo88

    Mine are:

    8 Words of Affirmation

    7 Quality Time

    6 Acts of Service

    5 Physical Touch

    4 Receiving Gifts

    (Been single for years)

  • funkyqueers

    The Acts of Service one sounds suspiciously like straight men being praised for doing housework. 💁🏻‍♂️

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